life keeps on changin'.

why is it so hard to accept change? sometime you have to leave something comfortable, scared of what's ahead only to find yourself fitting in there in no time. things become familiar. you can time your walking route to the minute (43 minutes). you have dreams about your morning routine. but then there comes a time, there ALWAYS comes a time when you have to leave that too. sure you know that you'll get used to what is to come, but it's still so hard to go. to force yourself out there and learn it again.

i've been thinking about that a lot lately. probably because chicago is taking my roommate away from me. yesterday on my walk that takes 43 minutes, i reflected on life and started to think about how i will have to leave it in a year. right, a YEAR. that's a long time from now, so i don't know why i'm freaking out. but i already feel good here. GOOD. i love my roommates to death, i love what i'm doing here and who i'm becoming, i love my 43 minute route. i love seeing my family often, i love swimming in my pool. i love preparing for a super awkward super hero party for five days with my roommates. i even love scissor kick moments of misunderstandings.

it's weird to remember how i felt the week i had to leave manhattan. it hurt. i had finally found my rhythm in that town and didn't want to give it up. but i let go and came here. it was hard at first, things were different. but now i can truly say i LOVE IT HERE. i know i will miss that little town for a long time, but my life is here now and i can't wait.

i will live this year and soak up the good. and then i will take up my stuff and follow the ever moving Leader into something new. and it will be hard, and it will hurt, and i can already feel it in my heart, but i will do it. and then hopefully soon i will love it.