Monday, May 26, 2008

hallelujah for the morning.

i hate the in between moves feeling. manhattan is no longer my home, kansas city is yet to be my home. where am i?

packing is awful. just knowing that all of this tedious work will be un-done in less than 24 hours is miserable. oh yeah, HUMIDITY SUXXXXXXX. i've been in a constant sweat for like 12 hours. neat.

highs (+) and lows (-) for today are as follows:

+ i found a coldplay cd in the basement today. along with a ton of old notes/planners/etc.
- it's hot. the end.
+ erica and rachel came back.
- rachel left again.
+ i took a lot of mini breaks to watch jon and kate plus 8.
- i rode my bike a lot, so my legs are tired.
+ i rode my bike a lot, and i love that.
- i had to buy packing paper for $8!
+ annie came over and helped me wrap all of the breakables.
- it stormed so we didn't get to go to pillsbury crossing.
+ i found FOUR shirts that fell behind my dresser!!! so thats ++++.

okay, i'm tired, that was pointless, goodnight.

oh - i love igoogle as a homepage.

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

how's my driving?

today i was driving home from work, following an old, beat up pick up truck with a "how's my driving?" sticker on the back. i wondered if anyone had ever called the number - thinking that people would probably only call if the driver did something bad. as i followed him, he seemed to be a good driver. signaling when appropriate, following the speed limit, even stopping when the light was yellow (as a huge semi truck sped through the light).

so i decided i would call the number and say that he was driving "exceptionally" (that was the word that i used to the guy that answered). it was quite an intense call, the man that answered wanted to know every detail about my comment, like i wasn't telling the truth or something. but i said that i was impressed with his driving, and the call ended with the man telling me to have a "safe day on the road".

so my hope is that this man, seemingly sad and bored with life, will get a little excitement when he finds out that someone took the time to give him positive comments. maybe he will even get a raise. hopefully.

i think i am going to do this more often.

Saturday, May 17, 2008

hot dogs & brownies.


today, i graduated from college.
mortar boards look disgusting on most people.
as do academic honor cords.

when meatloaf says: "i would do anything for love, but i won't do that"
what does THAT actually mean?
and why has no one questioned him before?

i've decided that it's not the time to go to africa. sigh.
okay Lord, i'll keep trusting.

"is your life a waste? Jesus will recycle you."*
OH, so even JESUS is going green now? i didn't know he was so trendy.

let me tell you what. when you graduate, send a billion announcements.
people like to be generous when you're done with college.
sometimes in the form of a suitcase with patent leather and bows.

a week in manhattan just enjoying manhattan.
i will thoroughly love it.

here's to SUMMER. cheers.

*thank you adampaulcooper.

Monday, May 12, 2008

you gone to uganda?

africa. uganda. me?

it's wonderfully terrifying what happens when you submit to the Lord. He stirs you up a little bit and you end up saying yes to going to africa for three weeks.

i have been drawn to the hearts in uganda ever since i saw invisible children for the first time a few years ago. every time i see it, my heart just aches. i want to know these people, and show them that they are known. i have always thought that i would do that from here, but it turns out i get the chance to experience it first hand in less than a month.

am i ready? no.
can i even wrap my mind around it? no.
but are those some of the times the Lord works the most? absolutely. i can just see the possibilities of what the Lord can do with this situation, and i think all He needs is a yes from me. am i ready to give it?

well. a lot of questions and not a lot of info from my side of the table. clearly this is new and raw and scary and amazing.
i will need lots of shots, money, and prayers.

but i know that i want my heart to break for the same things that break God's heart. and i know God just weeps for what goes on in africa.

but He also rejoices for how He is known there. how people need Him, because that's all they have. i am ready to know more of that God, and less of the "america god" that we only half-need (and that i admit to only half knowing as well).

this isn't 100%, but there have been some very real signs that this is good. get ready to see what happens...


Saturday, May 10, 2008

in my place.

one of my life goals is to see coldplay. they have become one of my favorite bands and i can listen to them anytime, anywhere.

they are coming july 9, 2008 to the sprint center. (!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
tickets go on sale may 17th at 11am. which just so happens is during my college graduation. major bummer. but i WILL get tickets. i will.
would you like to go with me? it's a chance to be a part of one of my life goals. srsly.

in other news, you might see me cruising around in my new vehicle courtesy of mr. mann and college graduation. it's pretty great and it has xm radio. i have been getting into music from the 40's, it feels nice to drive to.

i hope the cusp between school and summer finds you well.

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

i don't cry or vomit.

so i know i posted less than twenty four hours ago, but i feel i have some blog worthy events that have happened. and i just don't want to study for music. (my teacher is an enjoyment sucker. she has made me actually appreciate music less than when i started the class).

first let me just tell you that i am not okay with throwing up. anyone. anywhere. i've thrown up once since age four (when i created my taste aversion to hot dogs) and i cannot stand to see anything, even my cat, throw up.

SO today, i went to the park with the little boy i babysit for, and he made some cute littlefriends who all wanted to tire swing. one little girl, jill, was particularly good at knowing how to get the tire to spin just right. it was pretty intense, even i had to look away because i was getting dizzy. so this went on for a while, and then pierce tells me he needs off. okay, that's fine let's go swing or something. no. he gets off and puts his hands over his mouth and looks reeeeally alarmed. he tells me he feels really sick, so my eyes bolt for a trash can. i see one and run him over to it, praying that he doesn't A) throw up in the sand or B) throw up on me. so we make it to the trash can, which was gross enough to make even well people feel sick. i am trying to make him feel calm, trying to get him to breathe - but inside i am PANICKING thinking "if he goes, i go."
praise God because a few awful noises that ended in only a spit (sorry), we were in the grass looking for four leaf clovers. but man i felt bad for the kid. he was scared and ashamed. i was relieved.

secondly, another thing i would like you to know about me is that i do not cry at movies. and especially at chick flicks. however, a while ago i saw p.s. i love you in the theaters and i was a WRECK. like loud sobs. i even got home and was STILL crying. i thought maybe i was emotional for some other reason and just used the movie as a vessel or something.

so the movie came out today, and i think my main reason for wanting to see it again was to see if it would affect me the same. i've been really happy lately, nothing too heavy on my plate, so i was feeling good. and i actually made it pretty far into the movie with only a couple of tears.
but man. there was a point when the flood gates just opened and i was gone. my throat was tired from keeping my sobs in.
as a psychology major, i would like to get to the bottom of this, understand why i am SO attached to this movie, and why it affects me so deeply. food for thought. first bat i would say it would be my attraction to the wonderful irish man, but that's just a quick guess.

okay, i ask you:
1. do you have any awesome barfing stories?
2. what movie affects you deeply (but seemingly usually wouldn't?)

count it down.

the last week of my college life. it still just seems absolutely surreal.

four years of my life? sometimes it feels like college is all i've ever known.
sometimes it feels like it is just a tiny portion of what is to come.
either way, it's a big deal.

and i have to believe that God has been good. i have to.
i've seen myself learn & grow; mess up & act stupid,
but through it all, whether it's His joyful blessings or undeserving grace -
God is good.

i don't know whats in store for me, but He has called me and He is faithful.
and i know His goodness doesn't stop here.

teach me your way, O LORD,
and i will walk in your truth;
give me an undivided heart,
that i may fear your name.

in other news - i didn't like bob marley as much as i thought i would.
but i DO love riding my little rusty bike. especially at night.


Thursday, May 1, 2008


the rules are...

1. the rules of the game get posted at the beginning.
2. each player answers the questions about himself or herself.
3. at the end of the post, the player then tags five people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves them a comment, letting them know they’ve been tagged and asking them to read your blog.

1. ten years ago I was doing...

ten years ago i was in sixth grade at heatherstone elementary. i loved hanson and baggy jeans. my room was covered (literally covered) in hanson posters. my little sister tori was a new born baby and i was adjusting to being a big sister again. also, that was the year that pokemon came out, and i will indeed admit that i was a fan. gotta catch 'em all.

2. five things on today’s to to list...

1. babysit for six hours.
2. go to the rec.
3. make dinner & cookies with jenna wilson.
4. call my mom. (i just got an e-mail from her telling me to call her after work)
5. do something fun after ichthus.

3. things i’d do if i were a billionaire...

first of all, a billionaire could mean i have one billion or a million billion. kind of ambiguous. but for this question, i will say i have a million zillion billion. it's my blog i do what i want. okay first of all i would pay for a lot of people to go to africa and live with the people/help them. i wouldn't just send the money because people need to see the faces of help. not just truckloads of cans. (a lesson i have been learning lately. glad it is applicable to my billionaire self). um then i would just go around and do random things for people. pay for a single mom's car to get fixed so she can go to work. pay people's way through college so they can have an education. buy people groceries. things like that. also i would get a big swimming pool in my backyard and anyone can come swim anytime they want. pool party 24/7

4. three bad habits...

1. i pick/bite my cuticles to the point of destruction. especially when i am stressed.
2. i play with my nose ring constantly, and sometimes it looks like i'm picking my nose. yuck.
3. whenever a picture is being taken of me, no matter what i kind of curl my toes and stand on the outside of my feet. seriously. look at pictures of me where you can see my feet. it's ridiculous.

5. five places i’ve lived...

1. wichita, ks.
2. olathe, ks.
3. overland park, ks.
4. manhattan, ks.
5. granada, spain. (glad i got to throw that one in there, my list was borrrrrrring.)

6. five jobs i’ve had in life...

1. babysitter
2. hostess at olive garden
3. concession stand worker at miller's woods
4. server at red robin.
5. i worked at express for like three days. it was the worst job i've ever had.

7. tagged ones...

i tag no one. i broke the rules.